Random
by Anniebear91
Summary: Ryou is home alone, all cosy and warm as its snowing outside. Humorous if you are easily entertined, no yaoi but hints towards it. Rated for VERY mild language and slightly dirty sense of humour. R&R I dont own yugioh, or its charecters and dont know how


Random.

Ryou was sitting alone at home watching some reality TV show where people auditioned badly to become pop stars, wondering what time Bakura would come home. He sat there snuggled up with his blanket and hot chocolate. The snow fell gently outside, covering the ground in a fleecy cover of white. It was early December. Hearing a knock on the door, and assuming the worst (Bakura) he went to open it, smiling he looked for the tomb robbers familiar face. No such face was seen, and he looked down to see happy carollers. He smiled and gave them a little money (because its not Christmas yet-and Bakura would probably beat him if he found out he gave away free money) After seeing the children walk to the gate smiling, Ryou went back to the couch. Moment later the door bell rang again, once again carollers came, he gave them money and returned to the TV.

After 30 minuets of carollers, he had given away any spare money, sweets, vegetables and a few of Bakura's 'shiny' objects, (he was sure the army knife and axe wouldn't go a miss, besides children use things like that these days-mainly for defence against people like Bakura-Ok, maybe it was a bad idea.) Once again the door bell rang. Ryou, having nothing else to give them, simply didn't answer. They'd get the hint eventually. So Ryou sat, and once again drowned himself in the screeching voices of pop star 'hopefuls'. The door went again. He ignored it. And again. He ignored it. And Again. Jesus, this was worse than the so-called-singing! Angry (so out of character) he stormed to the door and flung it open. There stood, a snowy Marik, turning blue from cold, teeth chattering, jaw clenched and arms wrapped around the long, purple trench coat. Ryou's eyes widened. Grasping Marik (who certainly looked more psychotic than normal) he pulled the Egyptian into the house apologising faster than he could take in air (yeah, he was going slightly red) Marik sat down on the sofa, sipping herbal tea (no not the person…or was it?! Bakura did seem a little nervous when asked of her whereabouts after her disappearance a few months ago) Ryou smiled and the two hikaris began to chat.

"H-h-have you-o-o, s-s-seen….M-M-M-Malik r-r-recently?" Ryou paused, and looked distantly towards the TV remote. Malik AND Bakura missing, he suddenly had an urge to check the news for murders, fires, and obscene pranks. Maybe even indecent exposure. Then again, Bakura's defiantly wasn't indecent. It was impressive. Realizing that he had to answer Marik, Ryou shook his head and said

"No, 'Kuras gone too…" they both looked grimly at the TV and then at each other and in unison shouted

"YOU DON'T THINK THEY WENT AFTER…." Ryou ran for the phone and started to dial Yugi's house. The last time Bakura and Malik went out, they had Yami tied above a dirty tank of goldfish by his feet, talking about the pharaoh sleep with fishes and then a sadistic laugh. The time before that they'd been having 'cooking lessons' and Bakura had assured everyone they wasn't going to hurt the pharaoh, and there was a very logical reason for the apple gag and masses of tape and oil and seasonings he was covered in. Oh, and the time before that they tied him up and made him sit through 6 hours of chick-flicks, and videoed his struggle and sent it to Kaiba (not to mention, Yami knew half the words to most of them) Kaiba, had then broadcasted it at every duel ever held since.

Ring…ring… ring…

"Hello?" Ryou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding (Marik noticed, but he didn't say anything-it was funny to watch Ryou go all red and twitchy)

"Yugi! Is Yami ok?"

"Um, sure, why?"

"Oh…never mind, would you do me a favour?"

"Sure Ryou, what is it?"

"Just check on him plea-"Marik burst into laughter and Ryou glanced over to the TV and his eyes almost fell out of his sockets, and then jumped back in, so they could escape again.

"Holy…" Ryou closed his mouth again.

"Hello…Ryou? Are you there? Ryou?" Yugi called down the receiver, but Ryou was in so much shock, he dropped the phone and sauntered over to the TV.

There, walking onto the audition set of this absurd program was a tall thin, white haired, white skin man, with shocking red eyes. Next to him, a smirking, bleach haired, tanned guy covered with gold jewellery.

"Oh my goodness…" Ryou smiled…this was going to be funny. Ryou and Marik edged towards the TV and stared in disbelief and their Yamis began to…sing? Well…attempt to sing…Bodies, by Sex Pistols. Now for anyone who knows the lyrics, you can imagine what kind of fun the guys where having. After their 'performance' the judges just stared in awe. One pressed his ear and to say he looked uncertain was an understatement. The others swallowed hard and began explaining what was wrong. Instantly Malik whipped out the millennium rod, and the judges looked confused.

Back at home Ryou and Marik just stared at the TV, unable to control their laughter. It was ridiculous. You can't have imagined how bad it sounded. Two mass murderers singing about…an abortion. It was so stupid it was funny. Marik then noticed that the judges where clapping...and shook Ryou.

"Sudden change of heart, don't you think?"

"Nah, Malik's got his rod out." Marik looked hopeful and immediately looked back to the TV.

"Ryou! No he hasn't! Oh…you mean THAT rod." Ryou smiled and nodded.

"We should really stop them before it gets out of hand."

"Yeah I know." Neither moved. Just contemplated on how they'd stop their yamis. Understanding it was a hopeless matter, Marik got some popcorn and they sat and watched the judges mindlessly obey the duos every command, and allowing them to 'sing' again. (Yeah…evil at its very worst)

Bakura and Marik strolled leisurely out of the building, having new jewels, money, and several new mind slaves. They smirked evilly. Now about that pharaoh…

Deciding the fun was over the hikaris switched off the TV and started to discuss what the yamis could do with a lousy record deal. Sadly, their talking blanked out the cries coming from the phone.

"Ryou? Ryou? Are you there? Ryou? Oh my god! Ryou, Help! Yami! Bakura don't touch that! Yami! Don't hurt him-OW! Ryou! Help…"


End file.
